第一章

祈禱中的甜蜜和溫柔與安慰有何不同。解釋了這對聖保羅有多有利。德蘭明白想像力和理解不是同一回事。本章對於那些在祈禱中經常走神的人很有用。

1. 在這座居所中受到的恩惠。 2.神秘的恩惠。 3. 誘惑帶來謙卑和優點。 4. 明智的奉獻和自然的快樂。 5. 奉獻中的甜蜜。 6. 聖女德蘭的經歷。 7. 神的愛，以及如何培養牠。 8. 幹擾。 9. 它們不會破壞神聖的結合。 10. 聖女德蘭的身體幹擾。 11. 如何對待幹擾。 12. 他們應該被忽視。 13.自知之明是必要的。

1. 1. 現在我開始寫關於第四重居所的文章，正如我所說，¹⁰⁷將自己交託給聖靈並懇求他從今以後為我說話，以便我能夠清楚地處理這些問題。從今以後，它們開始變得超自然，要清楚地談論它們將是最困難的，¹⁰⁸除非陛下為我承擔這件事，就像大約十四年前我解釋這個主題（據我所知）時他所做的那樣。 ¹⁰⁹我相信我現在對天主賜予一些靈魂的恩惠有了更多的了解，但是這與能夠闡明它們是不同的。 ¹¹⁰ 如果有用的話，願陛下允許我這樣做，但否則就不行。

2. 2. 由於這些居所靠近國王的住所，所以它們非常美麗，而且在其中看到和聽到的東西是如此微妙，以至於正如那些試圖這樣做的人告訴我們的那樣，對於那些在這方面沒有經驗的人來說，頭腦無法對它們有一個清晰的概念。那些享受過這些恩惠的人，尤其是在很大程度上享受過這些恩惠的人，會很容易理解我。

3. 3. 顯然，一個人必須在以前的居所中居住很長時間才能進入這些居所；雖然在一般情況下，靈魂一定是在最後一個談到的，然而，正如你一定經常聽到的那樣，沒有固定的規則，因為天主何時、如何、以及他所願意的人¹¹¹——他的貨物不會傷害任何人，他的選擇。 ¹¹²有毒的爬蟲類很少進入這些房間，而且，如果它們進入，利大於弊。我認為他們最好在這種祈禱狀態下進入靈魂並與靈魂交戰。如果它沒有受到誘惑，魔鬼有時可能會用神聖的安慰來欺騙它，從而對它造成更大的傷害。此外，如果靈魂繼續全神貫注於天主，那麼，所有獲得功德的機會都會被撤回，靈魂將受益更少。當這種吸收始終保持在同一狀態時，我不相信這種吸收是真實的，而且在我看來，聖靈也不可能在我們塵世流亡期間以同樣的程度持續居住在我們體內。

4. 4. 正如我所承諾的，我現在將描述祈禱中的甜蜜和精神安慰之間的區別。在我看來，我們在默想和向主祈求中為自己獲得的東西可以被稱為「奉獻中的甜蜜」。 ¹¹³這是自然的，儘管最終得到了神的恩典的幫助。我必須理解我所說的一切都暗示著這一點，因為沒有他我們什麼都做不了。這種甜蜜主要來自於我們所做的良好工作，似乎是我們辛勤勞動的結果：我們很可能因為這樣度過了我們的時間而感到高興。仔細思考一下，我們就會發現，許多屬世的事情都能給我們帶來同樣的快樂——比如意外地獲得巨額財富，突然遇到一位摯愛的朋友，或者成功地完成任何轟動世界的重要或有影響力的事情。同樣，當一個人被告知她的丈夫、兄弟或兒子死了，並看到他活著回到她身邊時，也會有這種感覺。我看過人們因如此幸福而哭泣，就像我自己一樣。我認為這些快樂以及我們在宗教事務中所感受到的快樂都是自然的。 雖然前者並沒有什麼問題，但那些由奉獻產生的東西卻源自更高尚的泉源──簡而言之，它們始於我們自己，終於天主。相反，靈性的安慰來自天主，我們的本性感受到它們並為它們感到高興，甚至比我所描述的其他安慰更強烈。

5. 5. 耶穌啊！我多麼希望能夠闡明這一點！在我看來，我可以完全區分這兩種快樂之間的區別，但我沒有能力讓自己被理解；願天主賜給我！我記得我們在盛年時在最後一首詩篇的結尾處說過的一節經文；最後一句話是：「Cum dilatasti cor meum」—「當你擴張我的心時：¹¹⁴對於那些有豐富經驗的人來說，這足以表明祈禱中的甜蜜和精神安慰之間的區別；其他人將需要更多解釋。 我提到的明智的奉獻並不會擴張心靈，但通常看起來會稍微縮小它。傷的眼淚，這似乎部分是由激情造成的。

6. 6. 我自己在默想中體驗到的這種喜悅和甜蜜是，當我開始為受難而哭泣時，我無法停止，直到我感到劇烈的頭痛；¹¹⁵當我為我的罪孽悲傷時，同樣的事情發生了：這是來自我們的主的偉大恩典。我現在不想問這些祈禱狀態中哪一種更好，但我希望我知道如何解釋兩者之間的差異。在我所說的事情中，眼淚和良好的願望往往部分是由天然性情引起的，但儘管情況可能如此，但正如我所說，這些感覺終止於天主。如果靈魂夠謙卑，能夠明白，由於這些情感，它並沒有變得更加神聖，那麼明智的奉獻是非常可取的，這些情感不能總是肯定地歸因於慈善事業，即使如此，仍然是天主的恩賜。

7. 7. 這些虔誠的感覺在前三宮的靈魂中最為常見，他們幾乎總是利用他們的理解和理性進行默想。這對他們有好處，因為他們沒有得到更多的恩典；然而，他們應該偶爾嘗試引發一些行為，例如讚美天主，因他的良善和他的本質而喜樂：讓他們渴望他得到尊榮和榮耀。他們必須盡其所能地做到這一點，因為這會極大地激發他們的意志。當天主賜下這些情感時，讓他們非常小心，不要為了完成他們慣常的默想而將它們放在一邊。但是，在其他地方充分討論過這個主題後，¹¹⁶ 我現在不再多說。我只是想警告你，要取得快速進步並到達我們想要進入的居所，思考得越多，愛得越多，這並不重要：因此，你必須實踐最讓你興奮的事情。也許我們不知道愛是什麼，這也不令我感到驚訝。 愛不在於偉大的奉獻，而是在於熱切地決心在一切事情上努力取悅天主，盡可能避免一切冒犯天主的事情，並為他兒子的榮耀和尊貴的增長以及天主教會的成長而祈禱。這些都是愛的記號；不要以為它意味著除了天主之外什麼都不去想，如果你的思想稍稍走神，一切都會失敗。 ¹¹⁷

8. 8. 我自己有時也會被這種思想混亂所困擾。我從四年多前的經驗中了解到，我們的思想，或更清楚地稱之為我們的想像力，與理解不是一回事。我就這個問題詢問了一位神學家；他告訴我這是事實，這讓我感到了不少安慰。由於理解力是靈魂的力量之一，令我困惑的是，它有時如此遲緩，而通常，想像力會立即飛翔，因此只有天主才能通過將我們與他自己結合起來來控制它¹¹⁸，在某種程度上，我們似乎與我們的身體分離。令我困惑的是，雖然從表面上看，靈魂的力量都被天主佔據，並在他身上回憶起來，但想像力卻在別處徘徊。

9. 9. 主啊，請考慮我們因無知而遭受的一切痛苦。我们错误地认为我们只需要知道我们必须将我们的思想固定在祢身上。我们不明白应该向比自己更有学问的人请教，也不知道自己有什么需要学习的。我们因为不了解自己的本性而经历了可怕的考验，并把那些不仅无害而且有益的东西视为严重的错误。这导致许多人，特别是那些没有学问的练习祈祷的人感受到痛苦。他們抱怨內心的考驗，變得憂鬱，失去健康，甚至完全放棄祈禱，因為沒有意識到我們內心有一個內在的世界。我们无法阻止天空高速运转，我们也无法控制我们的想象力。当它徘徊时，我们立刻想象灵魂的所有力量都追随着它。我们认为一切都失去了，花在神的面前的时间都浪费了。 同時，靈魂也許在最裡面的居所中與他完全結合，而想像則在城堡的範圍內，與上千種野生有毒生物搏鬥，並透過戰爭獲得功績。因此，我們不必讓自己受到干擾，也不必放棄祈禱，因為魔鬼正在努力說服我們。一般來說，我們所有的焦慮和煩惱都源自於對自己本性的誤解。

10. 10. 在寫這篇文章時，我想到了我在引言中提到的腦海中的巨大噪音，這使得我幾乎不可能遵守寫這篇文章的命令。腦中彷彿有許多瀑布飛流直下，而其他地方則被水聲淹沒，盡是鳥兒的鳴叫聲和口哨聲。這種騷動不是在我的耳朵裡，而是在我的頭頂上，他們說，那裡是靈魂的上半部。我長期以來一直認為這一定是這樣，因為精神的飛行似乎以極快的速度從這部分發生。 ¹¹⁹請天主，我可能記得在寫後面的居所時解釋原因，這不是合適的地方。也許天主在我的頭腦中賜予了這種痛苦，以幫助我理解這件事，因為我大腦中的所有這些騷動並沒有乾擾我的祈禱，也沒有乾擾我對你的講話，但我靈魂中巨大的平靜、愛和渴望仍然不受干擾，我的頭腦很清晰。

11. 11. 那麼，如果靈魂的上半部分位於大腦的上半部分，它如何能保持不受干擾呢？我無法解釋這一點，但我確信我說的是實話。當沒有狂喜時，這種噪音會幹擾我的祈禱，但當它是狂喜時，我感覺不到任何痛苦，無論多麼痛苦。如果我因為這些軟弱而被迫停止祈禱，我會感到非常痛苦。我們不應該因為我們的想法而苦惱，也不應該讓自己為它們擔心：如果它們來自魔鬼，如果我們不理睬它們，它就會放過我們；如果它們是亞當犯罪所帶來的眾多弱點之一（正如經常發生的那樣），那麼讓我們耐心等待，為了天主的愛而忍受它們。同樣，既然我們必須吃飯和睡覺，而無法避免，這讓我們非常悲傷，讓我們承認我們是人類，渴望成為沒有人鄙視我們的地方。 ¹²⁰有時我會想起配偶在讚美詩中所說的這些話；¹²¹在我們的生活中，我們確實沒有更好的理由這麼說，因為我認為世上沒有任何蔑視或痛苦能夠像我們考驗中的靈魂那樣嚴峻地鬥爭。 正如我所說，只要我們內心有平安，所有的不安或衝突都可以忍受；但是，如果我們在世上千千萬萬的考驗中尋求安息時——知道天主已為我們準備了這種安息——卻發現我們自己遇到了障礙，那麼考驗必定是痛苦的，幾乎是難以忍受的。

12. 12. 因此，主啊，請帶我們到這些苦難不再使我們被輕視的地方，因為有時它們似乎在嘲笑我們的靈魂。即使在今生，當我們到達最後的居所時，天主也將我們從他們手中解救出來，正如我將向你們展示的那樣，靠著祂的恩典。大家並沒有像我多年來那樣，因為我的邪惡而受到這些弱點的強烈苦惱和攻擊，¹²²，以至於我似乎在努力報復自己。 ¹²³既然我受了這麼多的苦，也許你也會這樣做，所以我將繼續解釋以不同的方式向你提出這個主題，以便找到一些方法來闡明它。這件事是不可避免的，所以不要讓它打擾你或讓你悲傷，而是讓磨坊在我們磨小麥的時候嘎嘎作響；也就是說，讓我們繼續憑我們的意志和智慧開展工作。

13. 13. 根據我們的健康狀況或在不同的情況下，這些麻煩或多或少困擾著我們。可憐的靈魂受苦；雖然現在不該責怪，但它在其他時候也犯過罪，必須要有耐心。我們是如此無知，我們所讀到的和被告知的都不足以教導我們忽視妄想，因此我不會浪費時間來引導和安慰你們這些考驗。然而，這對你幫助不大，直到天主選擇啟發你，並且需要採取額外的措施：陛下希望我們透過平常的方式學習了解自己，並認識到我們流浪的想像力、我們的本性和魔鬼的誘惑在這些麻煩中所佔的份額，而不是把所有的責任都歸咎於我們的靈魂。

HOW SWEETNESS AND TENDERNESS IN PRAYER DIFFER FROM CONSOLATIONS. EXPLAINS HOW ADVANTAGEOUS IT WAS FOR ST. TERESA TO COMPREHEND THAT THE IMAGINATION AND THE UNDERSTANDING ARE NOT THE SAME THING. THIS CHAPTER IS USEFUL FOR THOSE WHOSE THOUGHTS WANDER MUCH DURING PRAYER.

1. Graces received in this mansion. 2. Mystic favours. 3. Temptations bring humility and merit. 4. Sensible devotion and natural joys. 5. Sweetness in devotion. 6. St. Teresa’s experience of it. 7. Love of God, and how to foster it. 8. Distractions. 9. They do not destroy divine union. 10. St. Teresa’s physical distractions. 11. How to treat distractions. 12. They should be disregarded. 13. Self-knowledge necessary.

1.

1. Now that I commence writing about the fourth mansions, it is requisite, as I said,¹⁰⁷ to commend myself to the Holy Ghost and to beg Him henceforth to speak for me, that I may be enabled to treat these matters intelligibly. Henceforth they begin to be supernatural and it will be most difficult to speak clearly about them,¹⁰⁸ unless His Majesty undertakes it for me, as He did when I explained the subject (as far as I understood it) somewhat about fourteen years ago.¹⁰⁹ I believe I now possess more light about the favours God grants some souls, but that is different from being able to elucidate them.¹¹⁰ May His Majesty enable me to do so if it would be useful, but not otherwise.

2.

2. As these mansions are nearer the King’s dwelling they are very beautiful, and so subtle are the things seen and heard in them, that, as those tell us who have tried to do so, the mind cannot give a lucid idea of them to those inexperienced in the matter. People who have enjoyed these favours, especially if it was to any great extent, will easily comprehend me.

3.

3. Apparently a person must have dwelt for a long time in the former mansions before entering these; although in ordinary cases the soul must have been in the last one spoken of, yet, as you must often have heard, there is no fixed rule, for God gives when, how, and to whom He wills¹¹¹ —the goods are His own, and His choice wrongs no one.¹¹² The poisonous reptiles rarely come into these rooms, and, if they enter, do more good than harm. I think it is far better for them to get in and make war on the soul in this state of prayer; were it not tempted, the devil might sometimes deceive it about divine consolations, thus injuring it far more. Besides, the soul would benefit less, because all occasions of gaining merit would be withdrawn, were it left continually absorbed in God. I am not confident that this absorption is genuine when it always remains in the same state, nor does it appear to me possible for the Holy Ghost to dwell constantly within us, to the same extent, during our earthly exile.

4.

4. I will now describe, as I promised, the difference between sweetness in prayer and spiritual consolations. It appears to me that what we acquire for ourselves in meditation and petitions to our Lord may be termed ‘sweetness in devotion.’¹¹³ It is natural, although ultimately aided by the grace of God. I must be understood to imply this in all I say, for we can do nothing without Him. This sweetness arises principally from the good work we perform, and appears to result from our labours: well may we feel happy at having thus spent our time. We shall find, on consideration, that many temporal matters give us the same pleasure—such as unexpectedly coming into a large fortune, suddenly meeting with a dearly-loved friend, or succeeding in any important or influential affair which makes a sensation in the world. Again, it would be felt by one who had been told her husband, brother, or son was dead, and who saw him return to her alive. I have seen people weep from such happiness, as I have done myself. I consider both these joys and those we feel in religious matters to be natural ones. Although there is nothing wrong about the former, yet those produced by devotion spring from a more noble source—in short, they begin in ourselves and end in God. Spiritual consolations, on the contrary, arise from God, and our nature feels them and rejoices as keenly in them, and indeed far more keenly, than in the others I described.

5.

5. O Jesus! how I wish I could elucidate this point! It seems to me that I can perfectly distinguish the difference between the two joys, yet I have not the skill to make myself understood; may God give it me! I remember a verse we say at Prime at the end of the final Psalm; the last words are: ‘Cum dilatasti cor meum’—‘When Thou didst dilate my heart:¹¹⁴ To those with much experience, this suffices to show the difference between sweetness in prayer and spiritual consolations; other people will require more explanation. The sensible devotion I mentioned does not dilate the heart, but generally appears to narrow it slightly; although joyful at seeing herself work for God, yet such a person sheds tears of sorrow which seem partly produced by the passions. I know little about the passions of the soul, or I could write of them more clearly and could better define what comes from the sensitive disposition and what is natural, having passed through this state myself, but I am very stupid. Knowledge and learning are a great advantage to every one.

6.

6. My own experience of this delight and sweetness in meditation was that when I began to weep over the Passion I could not stop until I had a severe headache;¹¹⁵ the same thing occurred when I grieved over my sins: this was a great grace from our Lord. I do not intend to inquire now which of these states of prayer is the better, but I wish I knew how to explain the difference between the two. In that of which I speak, the tears and good desires are often partly caused by the natural disposition, but although this may be the case, yet, as I said, these feelings terminate in God. Sensible devotion is very desirable if the soul is humble enough to understand that it is not more holy on account of these sentiments, which cannot always with certainty be ascribed to charity, and even then are still the gift of God.

7.

7. These feelings of devotion are most common with souls in the first three mansions, who are nearly always using their understanding and reason in making meditations. This is good for them, for they have not been given grace for more; they should, however, try occasionally to elicit some acts such as praising God, rejoicing in His goodness and that He is what He is: let them desire that He may be honoured and glorified. They must do this as best they can, for it greatly inflames the will. Let them be very careful, when God gives these sentiments, not to set them aside in order to finish their accustomed meditation. But, having spoken fully on this subject elsewhere,¹¹⁶ I will say no more now. I only wish to warn you that to make rapid progress and to reach the mansions we wish to enter, it is not so essential to think much as to love much: therefore you must practise whatever most excites you to this. Perhaps we do not know what love is, nor does this greatly surprise me. Love does not consist in great sweetness of devotion, but in a fervent determination to strive to please God in all things, in avoiding, as far as possible, all that would offend Him, and in praying for the increase of the glory and honour of His Son and for the growth of the Catholic Church. These are the signs of love; do not imagine that it consists in never thinking of anything but God, and that if your thoughts wander a little all is lost.¹¹⁷

8.

8. I, myself, have sometimes been troubled by this turmoil of thoughts. I learnt by experience, but little more than four years ago, that our thoughts, or it is clearer to call it our imagination, are not the same thing as the understanding. I questioned a theologian on the subject; he told me it was the fact, which consoled me not a little. As the understanding is one of the powers of the soul, it puzzled me to see it so sluggish at times, while, as a rule, the imagination takes flight at once, so that God alone can control it by so uniting us to Himself¹¹⁸ that we seem, in a manner, detached from our bodies. It puzzled me to see that while to all appearance the powers of the soul were occupied with God and recollected in Him, the imagination was wandering elsewhere.

9.

9. Do Thou, O Lord, take into account all that we suffer in this way through our ignorance. We err in thinking that we need only know that we must keep our thoughts fixed on Thee. We do not understand that we should consult those better instructed than ourselves, nor are we aware that there is anything for us to learn. We pass through terrible trials, on account of not understanding our own nature and take what is not merely harmless, but good, for a grave fault. This causes the sufferings felt by many people, particularly by the unlearned, who practise prayer. They complain of interior trials, become melancholy, lose their health, and even give up prayer altogether for want of recognizing that we have within ourselves as it were, an interior world. We cannot stop the revolution of the heavens as they rush with velocity upon their course, neither can we control our imagination. When this wanders we at once imagine that all the powers of the soul follow it; we think everything is lost, and that the time spent in God’s presence is wasted. Meanwhile, the soul is perhaps entirely united to Him in the innermost mansions, while the imagination is in the precincts of the castle, struggling with a thousand wild and venomous creatures and gaining merit by its warfare. Therefore we need not let ourselves be disturbed, nor give up prayer, as the devil is striving to persuade us. As a rule, all our anxieties and troubles come from misunderstanding our own nature.

10.

10. Whilst writing this I am thinking of the loud noise in my head which I mentioned in the Introduction, and which has made it almost impossible to obey the command given me to write this. It sounds as if there were a number of rushing waterfalls within my brain, while in other parts, drowned by the sound of the waters, are the voices of birds singing and whistling. This tumult is not in my ears, but in the upper part of my head, where, they say, is placed the superior part of the soul. I have long thought that this must be so because the flight of the spirit seems to take place from this part with great velocity.¹¹⁹ Please God I may recollect to explain the cause when writing of the latter mansions, this not being the proper place for it. It may be that God has sent this suffering in my head to help me to understand the matter, for all this tumult in my brain does not interfere with my prayer, nor with my speaking to you, but the great calm and love and desires in my soul remain undisturbed and my mind is clear.

11.

11. How, then, can the superior part of the soul remain undisturbed if it resides in the upper part of the brain? I cannot account for it, but am sure that I am speaking the truth. This noise disturbs my prayer when unaccompanied with ecstasy, but when it is ecstatic I do not feel any pain, however great. I should suffer keenly were I forced to cease praying on account of these infirmities. We should not be distressed by reason of our thoughts, nor allow ourselves to be worried by them: if they come from the devil, he will let us alone if we take no notice of them; and if they are, as often happens, one of the many frailties entailed by Adam’s sin, let us be patient and suffer them for the love of God. Likewise, since we must eat and sleep without being able to avoid it, much to our grief, let us acknowledge that we are human, and long to be where no one may despise us.¹²⁰ Sometimes I recall these words, spoken by the Spouse in the Canticle;¹²¹ truly never in our lives have we better reason to say them, for I think no earthly scorn or suffering can try us so severely as these struggles within our souls. All uneasiness or conflict can be borne while we have peace in ourselves, as I said; but if, while seeking for rest amidst the thousand trials of the world—knowing that God has prepared this rest for us—the obstacle is found in ourselves, the trial must prove painful and almost insufferable.

12.

12. Take us therefore, O Lord, to where these miseries can no longer cause us to be despised, for sometimes it seems as if they mocked our souls. Even in this life God delivers us from them when we reach the last mansion, as by His grace I will show you. Everybody is not so violently distressed and assaulted by these weaknesses as I have been for many years,¹²² on account of my wickedness, so that it seems as if I strove to take vengeance on myself.¹²³ Since I suffer so much in this way, perhaps you may do the same, so I shall continue to explain the subject to you in different ways, in order to find some means of making it clear. The thing is inevitable, therefore do not let it disturb or grieve you, but let the mill clack on while we grind our wheat; that is, let us continue to work with our will and intellect.

13.

13. These troubles annoy us more or less according to the state of our health or in different circumstances. The poor soul suffers; although not now to blame, it has sinned at other times, and must be patient. We are so ignorant that what we have read and been told has not sufficed to teach us to disregard wandering thoughts, therefore I shall not be wasting time in instructing and consoling you about these trials. However, this will help you but little until God chooses to enlighten you, and additional measures are needed: His Majesty wishes us to learn by ordinary means to understand ourselves and to recognize the share taken in these troubles by our wandering imagination, our nature, and the devil’s temptations, instead of laying all the blame on our souls.